The Apple Event

So, for those of you who didn’t know; Apple has a yearly sales seminar where they “announce” what will be coming out from the company for the coming year.  In the tech world, it’s actually a pretty interesting event, as it lets us know what will be coming out RIGHT NOW from Apple.  Many other companies (Microsoft, Intel, AMD) will often have an annual conference as well, but it’s to announce things they are working on.  Some of those things may never hit the market and some might take forever to get there.  With Apple’s, you know they’ve spent the last year secretly working on them and everything will be on sale as soon as the conference is over.

I, as you might expect, did not make it to the event.  Not that I was invited anyway.

Allow me to bullet point everything that was covered here anyway.  In my usual style, I may endlessly mock everything that was announced.

  • Steve Jobs is back.  When my boss announced it, he made it sound like The Christ had risen . . . but it was only Steve.  Apple’s stock rose a couple points when Jobs took the stage (not kidding there) but promptly fell back when people realized that instead of 1000 years of peace, they were just getting iTunes 9.
  • Jobs explains he is alive thanks to the generosity of a mid-20’s person who died in a car accident and had signed up for organ donation.  He also encouraged everyone else to sign up for organ donation . . . as he might need their organs later as well.
  • New announcement made for iPhone OS 3.1 which now supports two new functions: you can buy ringtones and the phone will tell you which applications you should purchase from the App store.  Also, ringtones will have the “breakthrough” price of $1.29.  Not entirely sure how any of this is really a good thing, but ok.
  • iTunes 9 will have the ability to create playlists and mixes on the fly with use of the Genius plugin.  I’m not entirely sold on this feature, as when I used iTunes, the “Genius” only told me what other music is suggested I buy to best compliment what I was currently listening to.
  • iTunes 9 will also allow iPhone users to rearrange apps, which I’m told is a very nice thing.  You can also control synching to your iPhone so you only synch one artist, or one genre, or one song.  Of course, their main competitor has been doing this since 2004.
  • iTunes technology still has not advanced far enough to integrate a “Stop” button into the player controls.  The most you can ever hope to do is pause your playlist and close the program to ever ensure it will actually stop.  Apple scientists say they have abandoned all research into the elusive technology and are centering instead on creating a humanoid robot for their beloved leader to download himself into when he runs out of organs (see point 2).
  • A new feature called “Home Sharing” was announced, though it wasn’t specified if it was new to OS X or to iTunes.  It allows you to share what isn’t in your library with up to 5 computers in your house.  The rest of the world calls this a “workgroup” that you use on a home “network” (Windows 7 calls it a Homegroup).   This feature likely will not be used by many, however, as 90% of Apple’s hardcore customers live alone.
  • Onto the iPod front: Apple is trying to sell the iPod touch as the perfect netbook killer.  And I’m one to agree with them.  If you want the web and basic office functions, an iPod Touch is much better than a folding, clunky, and bloated netbook.
  • Apple is also trying to sell the iPod Touch as a Sony PSP and Nintendo DS killer . . . um, no.  That’s like saying you don’t need a home because you have a car.  And the car is better because it’s mobile!
  • Gameloft is releasing “Nova” to the iTunes store.  Looks like Halo.  Plays like Halo.  Characters look like they were taken from Halo.  Now imagine Halo being played on the Sega Genesis and you have to run your hands all over the TV to control it.  Didn’t sound like much fun to me either.
  • iPod Touch is getting a new pricing scheme and they are doubling the capacity.  Overall, a good thing for a decent product.
  • Favorite quote from the guys at Endgadget: “10:57AM The creepy iPod shuffle voice now tells you when your battery is full, and when it will close the airlock.”
  • iPods now have a video camera and speaker for no additional cost.  Not a bad upgrade there.

In case you weren’t paying attention, I’ll give you the tl;dr version:  New iTunes with nothing new, bigger iPods.  It took 2 hours to get that out, but they did it.  I believe the only way that Steve Jobs can take two hours to say so few things and get people SO excited about it is to understand he is just a sales person.  In fact, after coming to that realization I just started calling him “The Billy Mayes of Technology”.

Things kind of make more sense with that mindset.

Zuke

Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident 'tech-head' and de-facto leader of the group.

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2 Comments

  1. Lots of of bloggers not really happy with the new iPad.There was 2 much hoopla regarding it and alot blogers got disapointed.Quite frankly, I can actually see lots of the awesome potential uses of this gizmo. Third-party soft for doing tunes, games, newspapers and magazine and books, all kinds of good stuff, but they failed to sell it very well (aside from the books). It smells kinda unfinished

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