No, not really.  I just know that this particular post is going to grate some people (and possibly an entire state) the wrong way.  In the end, I realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion:  It is my opinion that I am always right!  😀


Things have been really busy lately.  I mean really, really busy; moving half the network to a new location at work while moving buildings at the same time, finals are due in school, kids will be kids, and life in general all seem to get in the way of all the things we thought were most important.  I’ve only been able to give my games the briefest amount of time, I’ve gone entire weeks without checking my webcomics, and I haven’t caught up on news for quite awhile.

So imagine my surprise when I learn that the Civil War had started again!  That sort of came out of nowhere, huh?  SPOILER ALERT: This is going to be another political thread.


I decided to sit down and read up on and watch every news cast I could to find out what the crap has been happening since I last logged in.  Evidently, people are upset that President Obama has not yet made good on his campaign promise to bring back Elvis, Hoffa, Shatner’s hair, and Jesus Christ.  As a result we still don’t have any new albums from the king, The Shat has to pretend like he was in on the joke the whole time, our paid time off hours suck, and we have yet to see a thousand years of peace.  Oh yeah, and the economy is still crap.

According to Fox News, it’s because “Mr. Obama has too many things on his mind to clear up the real issues” and “Mr. Obama is more interested in buying General Motors than he is on lowering taxes”.  

Let’s get one thing straight right now; he’s the frakking PRESIDENT.  If he were a doctor, it’d be Dr. Obama.  If he were a woman, it’d be Ms. Obama.  As it is, he’s PRESIDENT OBAMA.  I know it’s a real kick in the teeth to all the uppity white news reporters and former political something-or-others to give a “man of color” a title higher than their own, but I thought we were at least pretending to be in this century.  It doesn’t even matter if he were to personally call me up and say, “Hey man, it’s ok!  I prefer to go by ‘dude’ anyway.”

I’d tell him, “Yes of course Mr. President.”

It’s called showing respect for someone’s office.  You know; that thing we had to do for President Bush for eight years, at the risk of being called “unpatriotic” otherwise.  Oh hey, you know what else is typically a sign of respect when dealing with people of higher office?  Guess!


Oh NOES!!!!1111 President Obama recognizing foreign dignitaries as actual people!

I’ll bet you can never guess which particular act of respect I’m talking about.


Oh NOES!!!!1111  Bush pledges himself to Hitler's Youth!

Oh NOES!!!!1111 President Bush pledges himself to Chancellor Palpatine!


Oh NOES!!!! (ok you get it) President Bush bows while getting pimped out in Islamic bling!

Oh NOES!!!! (ok you get it) President Bush bows while getting pimped out in Islamic bling!

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact I was raised in a part-Japanese household, but bowing is very natural to me.  It’s a normal thing I still do to this day when meeting someone important (usually accompanied with a handshake).  In case bowing confuses you, here’s a handy chart:


According to this chart, President Bush was actually getting help tying his tie.

According to this chart, President Bush was actually getting help tying his tie.

OK, enough with the bow.  How about the fact that we must be the most Attention Deficit nation on Earth?  If anyone who reads this has recently started a job (and in this economy, it’s likely to be a few people), you can testify that it can take awhile to 1) get your head around everything that is already going on, 2) stop the momentum from whatever was happening before, and 3) implement your own plans to go in the direction you want to.  It can be the hardest part of a job, and I can’t imagine the Office of the President is a particularly easy one to step into.  Our economy was in trouble before President Obama was sworn in.  I’ve got a newsflash for everyone; it was in trouble before he announced his candidacy.  Here’s another one for you; it was showing signs of trouble before 9/11.  And my last one; Clinton had just barely started enjoying a growing economy himself after the debacle of the 80’s!

It’s not like the United States of America is just a couple hundred in the hole and we’re scraping by until payday!  Even if the Obama administration does EVERYTHING right, it’s very possible (read: likely) that we won’t see “golden times” again for YEARS.

Due to my post getting a little long, I’m going to wrap up my last few “I’m Right” points with bullets.  I enjoy using bullet points to make an argument without the need to segue from one subject to another, and for how much it annoys my English professor.

  • If you are still going on about “Where was Barack Obama born?”, you’re uninformed.  He could have been born on Mars for all it’d matter: his mother was a US citizen so he is too.  It’s just how it works.
  • If you think your state should secede from the Union because the Constitution says it can, you’re a moron.  It’s very likely that people in Texas either don’t know what “secede” means, or don’t know what it entails.  I just find it very confusing for a mob of people to be waving the American flag, and chanting how they want to secede.  Not sure if I’m the only one there.  1) quoting the 10th Amendment of the Constitution as the basis of your arguement proves you shouldn’t be allowed on TV, 2) no where in your “agreement” to join the Union in 1861 does it state you have the right to leave at any time (you have the option to split into 4 smaller states if you want), and 3) if you’re this miffed at the idea of paying higher taxes to FIX YOUR OWN RAMPANT UNEMPLOYMENT, where do you think you’re going to get money from if you leave the Union and don’t get federal funding anymore?  Didn’t think that one through, did you?
  • If you’re surprised that we’re going to be paying higher taxes to get ourselves out of this toilet bowl of a situation, you haven’t really thought about it.  If the water heater in your home breaks, you pay money to fix it.  If the road on your street is destroyed, your city pays money to repair it.  If your school burns down, your state pays money to replace it.  If our employment has taken a nosedive, our housing market has crashed back to Earth (crushing many home owners in the process), our industry has all been outsourced, and we’ve managed to shun all of our own allies to the point that no one really cares what happens to us anymore . . . then we’re going to have to FIX IT.  This may mean paying for new things.  It might mean bowing to people we have wronged in the past.
  • If you scream about how we need to maintain a free market economy in one breath, and then scream about how Washington should just give the auto makers free money to save themselves in the next . . . well I don’t know what you are.  Probably stupid.
  • If you go on and on about how President Obama is a an example of tyranny . . . no, he isn’t.  He’s an example of democracy.  So was the last one, and the one before him.  In fact, all Presidents are.  It just so happens that this time, your guy lost.  That’s democracy in action.  If he happens to be doing things that you don’t like, that’s not fascism . . . it’s you being a sore loser.  Oh and by the way, he can’t do anything on his own except declare war or set aside a national park.  So if there’s a load of things going through that you don’t like, you can blame your congressman and representative too.

I know this isn’t a political blog, and I don’t intend to make a habit out of this.  I honestly thought we’d be done with this once the election was over, but I was wrong.  We’ll return to normal broadcasting (well, blogging) next time.


About The Author

Co-founder of and Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident ‘tech-head’ and de-facto leader of the group.

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  • Dr Squishy

    Slight correction. He actually can’t declare war without the approval of Congress. As Commander in Chief he can commit troops to a military action, but he can’t issue a formal declaration of war. Which is why we haven’t declared since the second World War.

    Many many people, including but by no means limited to President Bush 1 or 2, are to blame for the current state of the country that it is unfair/insane to expect that one man can wave a magic wand and fix it in a little less than three months. Give it a little bit of time.

    Also lets face facts. NO ONE has the right answer. I pray that whatever he does will work out. Whether you disagree with him or not we should at least hope that what he, and the Democratic congress, does will work. Part of being in a democracy is having to stand by while someone you don’t agree with runs things. While you are free, thanks to the 1st amendment, to voice your opinion of what you should do we should all at least want him to succeed. Because lets face it, if what he does fails things are going to get catastrophically worse.

    So use your freedoms wisely, and if you really think that he’s going to screw it up than perhaps a better use of your time would be learning Chineses than holding a self rightous “tea party” and ignoring the slogan that wen along with those Patriot’s actions.

  • Thanks for the correction! I guess it gets confusing since the media tends to (correctly) identify each “military action” as a war.

    Just to clarify for anyone else, the slogan that Squishy is referring to is “No taxation without representation”. The joke here being that all these people who are now holding “tea parties” ARE being represented. If you look at many of the pictures of rallies in different parts of the country, I personally think that it’s all just an excuse for them to break out their anti-Obama signs they worked so hard on during the election.