Yesterday my wife and I picked up some supplies from the local Walmart.  Now, before I go any further let me just get it out there; yes, I know that you can’t expect the very best behavior the human race has to offer at a Walmart.  With that out of the way, let the story continue.

We picked up a couple shirts for me, a few of those travel-sized bottles for the wife, and a random bag of chips.  For whatever reason, there was a stand advertising the movie “Twilight” on it.  Instead of copies of the DVD like you’d expect though, it was a load of Doritos.  I guess they have some sort of “Twilight-themed” flavors called “Late Night”.  The flavor I picked up was “Tacos at Midnight”.  I like tacos!  Hey, sounds interesting!  Might as well try it.

We make our way to the check stand and put everything up on the belt.  Our checker, a sad looking example of why cousins shouldn’t marry, doesn’t say a word to us.  Once she gets to the chips however, she suddenly can’t shut up!

“Are these part of the movie?  I don’t get it.”

Me: “I don’t know.  I just saw them and thought they looked interesting.”

“What, you think they’ll taste like tacos or something?  A Dorito is a Dorito.  They all taste the same.”

Me: “Well, there are different flavors, you know.  They could taste like tacos.  I guess I’ll find out!”

“I think they sound disgusting.  OH HEY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR!?!  IT LOOKS REALLY CUTE!!!”

At this point she was yelling at another checker a few lanes away.  She had shoved everything into two bags and just sort of left us to grab them ourselves.  We left her lane the way we got to it; without her paying any heed to us.

Here’s why I might catch some flack for this post:

I’d rather take any illegal immigrant who actually WANTS their job over an “actual American” who acts like that any day!  Yeah, the flip side of it are the drive-thru lines where I can’t understand a thing they’re saying.  But to be perfectly honest I usually can’t understand the “natural born” white kid either.  The fact of the matter is that the people who occupy the jobs that are “being stolen” by foreigners just don’t seem to care.

Which one would you prefer?  The Hispanic lady who is trying her best to understand you and is making it on nearly minimum wage, or the mouth-breathing half-wit who hates her job because she thinks it’s below her?


PS.  This chips were delicious.


About The Author

Co-founder of and Executive Producer for Stolendroids Podcast. Also resident ‘tech-head’ and de-facto leader of the group.

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  • zohner

    Given my respect for the law, I’d prefer the Mexican that can’t speak English but is here legally over the half-wit.

    Since we’re on the topic of WalMart, have you ever noticed that every single store has a Scabba the Hutt? This is usually the lady that wears spandex pants that are so tight that the moguls at every ski resort are jealous, the belly shirt that is two sizes too small and allows a large blob of flesh to hang out for all to see (I almost went blind just thinking about that horrid sight), and is covered in scabs. Given the fact that she usually weighs in at 300 pounds, I’m guessing the scabs aren’t because she’s a meth user. My money is on uncontrolled diabetes. (Another indication of diabetes is the fact that she has people around her that say things like “Doc says he’s gonna take yer foot if you eat that Snickers.”)

  • welsdog

    I think i have seen those chips when i was buying gag gifts at Dirty Joe’s. 🙂 How did they taste?